


who the fuck-

by ParkJiminisPrettiestBoy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 00 line lives together, Crack, Crushes, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, John Mulaney References, M/M, Mentioned Nakamoto Yuta, Polyamory, Secret Crush, Secrets, Swearing, also i love 00 line a lot, im forgetting a tag i just know it, ok theres like one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29615526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParkJiminisPrettiestBoy/pseuds/ParkJiminisPrettiestBoy
Summary: essentially, someone eats shotaro's favourite fried chicken and he tries to find who it is. jaemin knows, soon everyone does, and they Try Their Best to hide it from shotaro. it doesn't go well.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Jung Sungchan/Osaki Shotaro, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 9
Kudos: 137
Collections: Challenge #5 — I heard a secret..





	who the fuck-

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing for alw, and my first time in uh,,,*checks imaginary watch* almost a year posting here in general. am i nervous as fuck? yes. did i pick a bad title? yes im always bad at those.
> 
> also shoutout to my beta cei for helping me with this 🥺 without her this would've been a hot mess tbh
> 
> anyways enjoy :D

All was calm in the apartment, one wouldn’t think shit was about to go down, until… 

“WHO THE FUCK ATE MY FRIED CHICKEN!?”

At that moment, a variety of things happened.

In their room, Jaemin falls off the bed from the sudden shout. Jeno is scared shitless. Renjun is simply shocked, recognizing who yelled.

In the living room, Yangyang almost breaks his controller because he gripped it so hard.

In his own room, Donghyuck thinks he might’ve heard something, but he’s not entirely sure, because he’s on the phone with his boyfriend Mark.

Back in the kitchen, Shotaro is absolutely FUMING. He is so looking forward to his chicken. It was leftover from when Sungchan had come over the night before, but they weren’t able to finish it all.

“KITCHEN, NOW! ALL OF YOU!” he yells again, looking through the fridge to see if maybe, just maybe, he missed the takeout box and no one actually ate it. He finds nothing.

Yangyang enters first, Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun slowly walk out of their room (with the younger two holding onto Renjun’s hoodie, trying their best to hide behind their short boyfriend.) Haechan finally emerges from his room, and they all sport a similar level of shock, knowing that Shotaro had yelled.

They all stand in the kitchen, on the other side of the counter, absolutely terrified out of their minds. Shotaro might feel bad, if not for the fact his food was gone.

He leans against the counter, glaring them all down, “I’m gonna ask again. Who. The fuck. Ate my fried chicken. It was here last night. I’m convinced it was here this morning, I can’t remember. But who did it?”

~

Jaemin knows who did it. He damn well knows, he actually caught the man in the act. It wasn’t even someone who lived in the apartment. They all know not to touch each other’s food without explicit permission (there had been one too many close fights over food being eaten.) Shotaro had never been so mad over his food, not like the others. Sure, he would look pissed, but then shoots them his goddamned adorable smile and says it was fine.

That’s why everyone was so shocked at how mad, furious, even, Shotaro looked now. 

But going back to point #1: Jaemin knows exactly who did it.

“I didn’t,” Yangyang speaks up beside Jaemin timidly. He’d always been the one to eat other people’s food (while also almost going feral over his own getting taken, it really made no sense.)

Jeno, still clutching onto Renjun’s hoodie for dear life, speaks up next, “I didn’t either.”

“Why are you so mad about it? I mean, we all get it, but you’ve never gotten this mad before,” Renjun says abruptly, crossing his arms, and entirely ignoring his puppy-like boyfriends cowering behind him.

Shotaro blinks, almost as if he didn’t realize, and straightens up from the countertop.

“Sorry…” he says softly, fiddling with his sweater paws, “I just really liked that chicken.”

Everyone’s heart fucking melts when they see him pouting while playing with his sweater, it’s not an uncommon occurrence, but it’s just so damn adorable every time.

“So I’m gonna fucking kill whoever it was, ok?” Shotaro smiles, but it strikes terror into Jaemin’s heart, because it looks nothing like his real smile, it looks like it has murderous intentions behind it (which it does.)

_Holy fuck_ , Jaemin thinks while his stomach drops, _he’s legit. He’s gone feral. Oh god, what are we gonna tell Yuta hyung, he’ll kill us all_.

Actually, Yuta would be proud of Shotaro, Jaemin thinks woefully.

Yangyang speaks up next, “How are you gonna go about this?” God Jaemin just wants to give him a big hug and hot chocolate, because he sounds terrified out of his mind.

Shotaro pauses, mulling the question over. Jaemin would find it adorable, if not for the death threat looming over their heads.

“I’m not sure yet, but I’ll probably investigate this like they do on crime shows,” Shotaro says firmly.

“Except this isn’t a kdrama, this is real life, why are you taking this so seriously,” Renjun almost whines, clearly not appreciating his cuddle session with Jeno and Jaemin being interrupted.

“Because,” Shotaro says, like that explains everything. 

Jaemin almost brings out his motherly side and says “‘because’ isn’t an answer, sweetie,” but Shotaro is already brushing past them, announcing that he’s going to go take a shower and then do his homework.

Everyone collectively takes a deep breath when Shotaro enters the bathroom and they hear water running. Jaemin presses a hand to his heart, willing it to calm the fuck down. Jeno curls himself over Renjun’s frame, and Yangyang looks like he’s gonna pass out. Donghyuck just looks confused.

“Holy shit I didn’t think he could ever be that scary, I’m gonna be sleeping with one eye open tonight, fucking hell…” Yangyang trails off, seeing the looks everyone’s giving him. All hell breaks loose as they erupt in complaints.

“Did you-”

“Are you fucking serious-”

“We went through THAT just to find out that _you_ ate it-”

“God no shut up, it wasn’t me- stop looking at me like that Hyuck!” Yangyang snaps, “I just feel like he’s gonna kill us all and be done with it. Not even investigate, just eliminate all the possible suspects.” Everyone except Jaemin gives disbelieving looks, and Yangyang huffs in anger.

“Fine, don’t believe me,” he mutters, storming off to his previous spot on the couch, most likely to just sulk while playing his games. The remaining four, minus Jaemin, all share a look of disbelief, then disperse from the kitchen.

Jaemin grabs Donghyuck’s arm before he can escape to his room - and to Mark - and glares at him, ignoring the questioning look on his face.

“Nana, why are you looking at me like that?”

“You know good and goddamn well who it was,” he hisses, looking down the hallway to make sure Shotaro didn’t somehow hear them. 

“No I don’t??? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a boyfriend to get back to,” Donghyuck wrenches his arm out of Jaemin’s hold, leaving Jaemin alone in the kitchen. 

He just sighs, going back to his own room.  


Shotaro has decided on interviewing everyone, Renjun informs Jaemin the next morning. Jaemin almost sobs.

“Babe, I know exactly who it was, I’m just terrified for his life now,” he says through unshed tears.

“WAIT, WHO IS IT, WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING-”

As fast as humanly possible, Jaemin shoves his hand over Renjun’s mouth, accidentally slamming him into the wall, in an attempt to muffle the shout. 

Jaemin lowers his hand, and drops his voice to a whisper, “I'm terrified for his life, he doesn’t know what’s coming for him!!”

“Who is it??” Renjun whispers back furiously, “Jeno? Yangyang? Oh my God, was it you??”

“NO. It was Mark hyung.”

Renjun pauses, trying to process what he just heard, “Get the fuck out.”

“I SAW HIM EATING SOMETHING FROM THE FRIDGE BUT I DIDN’T REALIZE UNTIL I SAW THE TAKEOUT BOX IN THE GARBAGE LATER,” Jaemin whisper yells, checking the door to make sure Shotaro didn’t hear.

“God, he’s screwed - does anyone else know?” Renjun brings Jaemin’s attention back to him.

“I thought Hyuck might know, but he acted all confused when I confronted him,” Jaemin sighs.

“And by confronted, do you mean cryptically asked a question in hopes of him reading between the lines?” Renjun deadpans.

Jaemin refuses to meet the other’s eyes, “…Fuck off.”

“You love me,” the smile is evident in Renjun’s voice.

“Yes I do, but that’s besides the point,” Jaemin huffs, pouting.

Renjun just giggles, and after multiple kisses, the pout disappears. 

But God help the poor soul that was Lee Mark.

~

Shotaro interviewed Yangyang first, met with nothing helpful - except eliminating him as a possibility.

Honestly, Shotaro was surprised as hell, he would’ve expected Yangyang to be the culprit, with his history of stealing other people’s food (not just in their apartment, it was a daily occurrence among their other friends too.)

Next came Jaemin, who he accidentally scared really bad.

“Jesus, Taro, what do you want?” Jaemin had asked, pulling himself up off the floor and dropping back into his chair. He blinked away his blurry vision, caused by the hours of working so hard on his laptop.

That interview also only took Jaemin out of the list of suspects, but with one piece of evidence that only slightly helps Shotaro.

“Do you know who did it?”

Jaemin had paused, and Shotaro immediately assumed it was him, “Did you lie to me???”

“No!! I was just thinking, because here’s the thing. I did see someone eating out of the fridge, but I was too tired and thought nothing of it.”

Shotaro gives him a blank look, “So you saw what happened.”

“I did,” Jaemin confirms.

“And you did nothing to stop it.”

“Because I was over on the bench!” The John Mulaney reference slips out, and for a total of two seconds Shotaro is stuck between hitting Jaemin and laughing.

He did neither, just rolled his eyes, and Jaemin rushed, “Ok, but did you miss the part where I said I was too tired?? I couldn’t process shit at the time!!”

“Fuck,” Shotaro murmered softly. So close, yet so far.

Jaemin tilted his head, looking curious, “Why are you so intent on finding out who did it anyways?”

Shotaro froze. _Son of a bitch_. He was not expecting that question.

“No reason,” he lied, blushing. There was a reason, and the reason was related to Sungchan, but Jaemin didn’t need to know that.

The way his eyes narrowed, Jaemin most definitely did know that, but didn’t comment on it. Shotaro briefly thanked all deities out there that might exist, because he absolutely could _not_ handle being questioned on his growing crush. Shotaro was kicked out of Jaemin’s room a minute later, because the older had an essay due very soon, and he couldn’t procrastinate any longer.

~  


“IT WAS WHO??”

“STOP YELLING, HE MIGHT HEAR YOU.”

“HE’S NOT EVEN HERE!! AND DON’T TELL ME TO STOP YELLING WHEN YOU’RE SHOUTING TOO!!”

They both take a second to breathe before Jeno starts relentlessly questioning Renjun.

“It was Mark hyung??”

“That’s what Jaemin said!”

“…holy God he’s screwed.”

Renjun silently agrees, running a hand through his hair, suddenly a voice cuts through the tense air, scaring them.

“Who’s screwed?” They turn and see Yangyang standing in the doorway of the kitchen, clearly on his way to get snacks.

“Mark hyung ate Shotaro’s chicken,” Jeno says mournfully.

Yangyang’s mouth drops open, and he can’t speak for a second.

“He’s fucking screwed,” he finally says, dropping his head into both hands.

“…So are we telling Taro?” Jeno asks, turning back to Renjun.

“No, absolutely the fuck not,” Renjun says firmly, and he’s instantly met with protests.

“Listen, LISTEN,” Renjun snaps, shutting the two younger boys up, “Jaemin said he’s terrified for hyung’s life now, honestly I am too. So maybe if we just keep it to ourselves for a while, this’ll all blow over, and when he finds out much, _much_ , later, it’ll be a simple forgive and forget.”

“Ok, that makes a ton of sense, actually,” Yangyang says after a few seconds of silence, taking the new information in.

“Who all knows?”

“You guys, Jaemin, and me. We should probably tell Donghyuck.”

“He cannot keep a secret to save his life,” Jeno deadpans.

And fuck, that’s true. Lee Donghyuck can do a lot of things, he is a man of many talents. But lying on the spot, in a situation like this? Not likely.

Mark better get his last will and testament in order, and Renjun better inherit his goddamn book collection.

~

Shotaro interviews Jeno and Renjun together, which is unfruitful. Not a single piece of evidence, nothing like what Jaemin had given him. All they saw was the takeout box in the recycling bin when they got back home last night, and that was it.

Donghyuck’s interview was even less helpful. All he did the whole night was his homework and cuddle with Mark. 

It’d been three days now since the crime was committed, and Shotaro had come up empty handed. He was losing his _mind_.

So he complains about it to Sungchan, who was currently in his room, where they had been studying together.

“I just really like that chicken, I was looking forward to it, and then poof,” Shotaro vaguely gestures a mini bomb with his hands, “it’s gone, and I don’t know who did it.” Of course, that’s not the whole reason he’s upset over this. On that day specifically, he and Sungchan had been sitting on the roof of the apartment building, eating the fried chicken together, and watching the stars (as best they could in the city.) Sungchan was giving Shotaro random facts on the constellations, the mythology behind it, who discovered which, and Shotaro just remembers watching Sungchan talk and talk and _talk_. It gave him a sudden rush of “holy God I actually like him,” so intense he couldn’t breathe. There was just _something_ about listening to Sungchan talk about his passion, and Shotaro never wanted him to stop. But Shotaro would never admit that to anyone, least of all Sungchan.

Sungchan just smiles softly, pulling Shotaro into a side hug, “It’s ok, you’ll find him eventually I’m sure.”

Shotaro sighs, snuggling close into Sungchan’s body, ignoring how fast his heart was beating considering how close he was to his crush.

“It wasn’t you, was it?” He sits up suddenly, and Sungchan visibly startles from the sudden movement. Then he relaxes, and gives Shotaro a small smile.

“Of course not, Taro. I know how much you love that chicken.”

Shotaro sighs again, letting himself melt back into Sungchan’s side again, “Mk…I trust you.”

Sungchan hums, and Shotaro feels himself slipping off to sleep. Neither of them minded, this wasn’t the first, the second, or even the third time one of them fell asleep in the arms of the other.

And if Shotaro let himself pretend that they were more than just friends in this specific situation, then that was nobody’s business except his own.

~

It’d been a week. Everyone was on edge, knowing exactly who ate Shotaro’s chicken, and making an effort to not let it slip. 

After Donghyuck’s interview with Shotaro, Jaemin and Renjun had pulled him aside, telling him the culprit was Mark.

“That bastard, I TOLD him not to eat anything out of the fridge that wasn’t mine!!”

Renjun sighed, burying his face in his hands as he let out a string of curses in Korean and Mandarin. 

“Do we tell Taro?” Donghyuck asked next.

“Do you want your boyfriend to die?” Jaemin asked in a mocking tone.

“No,” Donghyuck retorted, “but…now what??” 

“We just don’t tell him anything, let it all blow over, and when he finds out eventually, he’ll probably forgive and forget,” Jaemin said firmly, entirely convinced they had left the whole situation behind them for a few months.

Oh, how wrong he was.

That’s how he finds himself standing on one side of their kitchen counter the next day, Donghyuck beside him, Shotaro being held back by Renjun and Jeno from killing one very confused, scared Mark, and Yangyang clearly debating on whether to help or record it all on his phone.

What happened was this:

All of them except Donghyuck had gone out to the library to study, and then came home not 20 minutes ago. They had found Mark eating right out of the fridge, specifically Shotaro’s fried chicken. Everyone in the room froze, not daring to move a muscle as Shotaro took in the scene before him.

To say he went batshit crazy is an understatement, having been running on Jaemin’s hell coffee for 4 hours straight and forcing himself to take in information he still doesn’t understand.

Shotaro chased Mark around the kitchen, coming _very_ close to tackling him, all while yelling obscenities and threats in Japanese, which Jaemin _knows_ Yuta would be proud of. It takes almost 3 of them to physically restrain Shotaro from strangling Mark. 

“WAS IT YOU MARK LEE, DID YOU EAT MY FRIED CHICKEN TWO WEEKS AGO???”

“…Maybe? I don’t know, it was just in the fridge, I didn’t think-”

“I’M GONNA KILL YOU SO HELP ME GOD,” and Shotaro nearly makes a break for it, lunging forwards to crawl across the counter - and he would’ve made it if not for Jeno’s quick reflexes.

“He’s been very protective of his fried chicken lately,” Jaemin supplies, smiling at the scene in front of him.

Mark’s eyes grow wide, and he puts his hands up defensively, “I’M SORRY I’LL BUY YOU ALL THE FRIED CHICKEN YOU WANT JUST PLEASE DON’T KILL ME!!”

Shotaro stops struggling, and lets Jeno gently drag him off the counter as he asks, “For real?”

Behind him, Renjun curses under his breath, and Jaemin understands. Shotaro could take that quite literally, but they don’t know since he’s been unpredictable as of late.

Mark, bless him, doesn’t clue in and says softly, “Of course.”

And that’s how Mark finds himself buying chicken about three times a week for the next month.

~

It’s been a month since then, and Mark’s had enough. Everyone except the youngest two in the apartment were sitting around the kitchen table, listening to Mark’s complaining.

“I just didn’t think he would take that literally,” he sobs into Donghyuck’s arms. 

Jaemin cackles, Jeno continues trying to comfort Mark, and Renjun smacks Jaemin’s arm in an attempt to shut him up.

Donghyuck just rubs his boyfriend’s back soothingly, “It’s ok babe. I don’t blame him though, I’d do the exact same thing. I bet everyone in this apartment would do the same-”

Mark raises his head, glaring, “Don’t you dare finish that sentence if you know what’s good for you, you’re gonna give them ideas.”

**Author's Note:**

> wasn’t my strongest ending but ah well
> 
> i Just Might do a continuation in a different fic with sungtaro getting together also hmm,,,,,thoughts are being thunk,,,,,,,,,,


End file.
